October, 1992, I ran 2:45:05 at the Dublin Marathon, I
finished 94th out of 3000 + runners.
I crashed and burned because I did good training but didn’t respect pace
or show patience. After that I ran a
very good marathon the next year by adding some training in places and
respecting the early part of the race and the pace of the race.
Twenty years later 1 April 2012 and a great deal of
water under the bridge.
0600, woke up easily.
Didn’t sleep very well, but I knew that would be the case. I did sleep a lot on Saturday as I travelled
for some 19 hours just to get to Clifden, IE from Kyiv, UA. The race schedule called for a 7:20 bus to
the briefing which would be 0815, then bus one mile up the road to the
start. I started the day with a hot
shower, had two cups of coffee and then headed downstairs to wait for 7:20. There were a lot of people doing the Ultra
who were staying at the hotel so there were quite a few in the lobby. The bus we took ended up full. My number was 390174 (cute the 39 stood for
the ultra as we were going 39.3 miles)
This entire race was in miles of course, not kilometers.
I didn’t know the route really at all. I had been down about 10 miles of it without
knowing I had been when I took the trip from Galway to Clifden. It was significant rolling hills and we drove
back up that road to the briefing area which was Peackock’s Hotel at Maam
Cross. It looked like there were about 225 of us in total at the briefing. Turns out that is about right. We heard from the director, got our
directions, turn right, turn right, turn right turn right, run down hill and
then met the current 100 km world champion from Italy, really nice guy and
about to run really fast.
I didn’t prepare any dropbags as I packed 12 GU’s,
strawberry banana and tri berry, plus insulin, test strips, meter and the thing
that pricks your finger that I can never remember the name of in a fanny
pack. Having already practiced with this
in the 40kms and 50kms runs I was comfortable with the fanny pack. I wore an Adidas Clima Cool shirt, number
front and back, compression shorts and running shorts along with socks and
Adidas CC Ride shoes that had about 60 kms on them at the start. I didn’t wear the wrap on my leg as it felt
very good. In fact, it feels good as I
write this, which is full evidence that I should never ever buy a pair of shoes
that does not fit/is too big again in my life!
Early days with the group referenced below
I took off my t shirt that I brought because it felt cold, put
it in my end of race drop bag, along with an apple, my water bottle and put it
where it was supposed to go. I kind of felt like I was in a fog, my focused
kept wavering from what was happening to sort of following the line of people
and what they were doing. I occasionally
would listen to conversations, but what I learned was we were all kind of doing
the same thing, only close friends were really speaking, we seemed to be
following each other like lemmings to the cliff.
I kept my gloves on,
race time temperature was about 6 C. I
wore the gloves for the first 6 miles probably.
We took the bus to the start at 0840 where we had the first hilarious
moment of the day. It looked like every
man in the field decided to go from the bus to the nearest field and acid
fertilize (urinate) the man’s property.
I’m glad I waited, as more than one person stepped immediately in to a
peat bog and got to run 40 miles with one clean shoe and one mud covered
shoe. But eventually I did make my
personal contribution to the property line.
We slowly got ready and they called two minutes, I was about 15 rows
back I think.
I had a plan which I spoke about previously. Start slow and work my way into things and
run somewhere between 8:15 and 8:30 miles, which is to say that I had
expectations of my fitness level and what I had done leading up to this
run. In the final analysis I learned you
can have expectations but if you don’t respect the course your ass is grass,
end of story.
The first mile was downhill and probably the mile marker was
in the wrong place as we went through in
about 9:30. Mile two, however, seemed a
little more correct and that was 16:44 (8:22’s). By this time we began to have a nice group of
people, some people moving quickly up, others staying together, others showing
restraint and falling back. I perceived
myself as someone showing restraint as there were people around me. Next time I will know that that feeling isn’t
restraint, it is the early part of the race when we are all still together for
a bit. I was around a pack of French
people from a club in Toulouse and ran with them for about 1.5 miles. At the front of this pack was a Belgian women
who had a bike rider accompanying her. I
ran with her for about 2 miles. I didn’t
look at the watch again until about mile 5.
The scenery was just gorgeous, the sun was shining brightly
and at this point we had the wind at our back and the rolling hills were not
really any sort of problem. By far this
was the most spectacular part of the run, the weather was beautiful, the wind
at our back, I felt extremely good and the beginning os a series of rolling
hills went barely unnoticed by me as I seemed to be maintaining my pace.
My pace was very good and I seemed to be turning 8:25’s or
there abouts. Unfortunately, at 5 miles
I realized I was all alone. I would stay
that way for about 5 hours with the occasional conversation with someone I
passed or someone who passed me. I in
fact had failed to maintain concentration about the concept of the length of
the race. It felt great so I continued
on, not knowing there would be so many hills (I knew, I chose to ignore them
for concentrating on the final hill) and therefore I just ran and didn’t think
to consider that maybe I should stay with the group for a long time. Just didn’t think about it. Can you tell I am now?
And then there was pissing boy. In Brussels of course they have the statute
called “The Pissing Boy”. There was a
guy who went by me at about mile 2 who built up quite a quick distance on
me. But at mile 3, 5, 7, 9 he stopped to
urinate and each time he started up again about 20meters ahead of me and
rebuilt the lead. I really felt that
this guy was strong and this was my first strange feeling at mile 9, as in, how
does he keep doing that, is he running that much faster than me, is he in that
much better shape than I am?
I went through 6 miles in about 50+ minutes and seemed very
comfortable. I didn’t see the watch
again until 10 miles. Miles 7-9 were a series
of very rolling hills and I ran this with three guys between 100meters and 50
meters in front of me, I could hear the French behind me and could not believe
that they were just jabbering away. My
mental conversation was completely incorrect.
I was thinking about how long I should take to overcome both of the two
guys in front of me. I was not thinking
about the rolling hills that just kept coming.
I was very comfortable physically.
But I was not, thinking about it now, considering the down range
problems that I just didn’t have the experience to think about before the race
and have learned from this race.
The conversations I had so far were merely about the weather
and how beautiful it was. I still
thought this place was gorgeous, and I was very comfortable. At 10 miles I was about 84 minutes and we
made a write turn toward the Kilgore Monastery.
This was a beautiful part of the run. Lakes and bogs with sun shining surrounded by
very large hills covered in rock and gorse.
We basically took a lake road for 3 miles until we reached the first ½
marathon point which is also where the companion marathon started. Up to this point I had taken water at 5 and
10 miles. I took GU 15 minutes before
the race and took my second one at 5 miles as I ran and drank, this was pretty
comfortable, it wouldn’t be later. The
water was in 250ml bottles.
At the 10 mile turn we turned into a wind, which would
accompany me for the next 25 miles. Another
factor that I had not considered, or factor into mental consideration for this
amount of time on my feet. This lack of
experience is of course a recurring theme from this experience. But that really is the point isn’t it? Learn, use the information for next time,
adapt, change, learn from the next one.
At 10 we had what I considered our first serious ½ mile long
hill and I found myself having to work very hard here and that I had caught the
two guys in front of me and went by them; but another caught me and went by me
like I was standing still and I never saw him again.
The 13 mile water stop was early and I took one bottle of
water which I sipped on through the ½ marathon point, which was also the first
time we went across a timing mat. I went
through here in just under 1:49, almost exactly what I thought I should be
doing. I also tested my blood sugar here
and it was 206, so I took 2 units of humulog and on GU and off I went again. Another interesting experience, I have been
out of competitive running for so long that I didn’t know how timing mats felt
I think I stumbled over this one in fact.
My first truly serious error occurred shortly
thereafter. I picked up the pace through
a very hilly section of the course. I
worked this for about 5 miles. I went
through 15.1 miles at 2:06, write about 8:30’s, this should have been a hint
that the hills required more respect. My
water stop at 16 miles was fine, just water, but then I started to really feel
like crap around 18 miles, and there were hills coming and going and rolling along
and feeling like there were good downhills with them. There was going to be water at 19 miles,
about half way. I was surprised that I
felt so bad, this area had a lot of hills in it and I was trying to pull experience
from my training to work through it because I couldn’t figure it out. What
seemed to be the problem.
A thought occurred to me, why not test your sugar!
an attempt at pushing it with sets of hills in the background
I did, I’d had a bonk and the type 1 diabetes
had made its entrance into the experience, blood sugar down to 60 from the 206
from those 2 units of humulog, I took two GU’s and two bottles of water at 19
miles. I was at 2:43 here, which meant I’d
gone about 4 miles in about 37 minutes (I didn’t figure this out then, this is
analysis afterward) . I immediately felt
better, but then we took a right turn again and went straight uphill for a
mile. This really did a number on me,
but I didn’t know it yet. At this point
I was still on a good pace for something about 5:35. Or so I assumed that all we be the fine now
that I had found and solved the problem.
Again, lack of experience.
On review, this part of the course was really very
difficult, it was mostly uphill with the type of hills where you reach the
pinnacle only to find you get 100meters of downhill and go straight up very
quickly again. Also, with the exception
of passing two guys and being passed by one guy who really looked amazing, I
was jealous of his relaxed demeanor; I was running alone for a very very long
time. I think this being alone is why I
like running. However, it is very unique
to this type of racing as the distances are so long and at some point you spend
a lot of time by yourself and again, experienced learned.
Once we had climbed these hills we were sent down hill for
about a mile then uphill and I got water at 22 miles and I took two bottles,
one I stopped a drank immediately the other I carried for about ½ a mile until
I finished it. I still thought I was
okay here, we were coming toward the marathon and I was making the critical
mistake of getting too far ahead in the race, I began to think about the last ½
marathon of the race instead of focusing on my body and doing an inventory of
what was happening.
And slowly I began to unravel. I started to feel my quads hurting at about
20 miles, now they hurt a great deal and suddenly I had stabbing pain in both
quads, above the knee (vastus medialis).
I had to stop and kneed out the cramping. It seemed very early to have cramping,
potassium? Carbs? Water?
I had no idea but I knew I was in serious trouble if it was like this
this early. Water at 22 seemed to solve
the problem. From here on out the
experience would be aid station, water, fine, one mile from next aid station,
all hell breaking lose in my legs from cramping. By now the temperature was 15 C about 72
F. I had a fleeting thought of running a
50km training run in Kyiv when it was -20C.
Hmmm, some things you can’t control I guess.
Getting to the marathon point was a gentle downhill which
brought me to a stop because of the quad problem. I went through the marathon in 3:48. It had taken me 2 hours to do the second ½
marathon. I was doing quick calculations
in my head and knew it would be tight if I hung on. That actually was an absolutely ridiculous
expectation. We turned right and went
straight uphill. My first thought was
the ½ marathon starts on an uphill? My
second thought was pure mental unhappiness, “this just isn’t fair, how can they
make us go uphill again?” Again,
complaining about something that I chose to do and not respecting the type of
terrain that an ultra marathon requires, it can’t be flat unless it is in
another country, not this area of the country.
On introspection I even knew this would be a hard hill I had looked at
the elevation map dozens of times. I
just didn’t respect what it meant.
Another great experience.
This was really a very down moment for me, this thing went a
very long way uphill, at least a mile. I
spent all my pre race visualization on the last hill of the race that I clearly
had not mentally prepared for the whole point of an Ultra, the long winding
road that is doing this type of race, its not a road race that is flat and
fast, or marathons that are flat and fast, it is a race of patience, and I
seemed to have run out. Fortunately for
me I was starting to catch the back part of the Marathon group so at least there
was human contact.
Uphill at this point was far easier than downhill. A rea lesson here is doing more down hills in
training. By now my form is a mess, I’m
half bent over just following my shadow around and time is just going quietly
by. At 28 miles I tested again, still I
was at 72, I took two more GU’s and two bottles of water, but I was walking in
order to get it all in. Every time I
walked it took a good amount of mental preparation to start to run again. Hips,
quads, feet were all feeling it. It took
almost 21 minutes to run that two miles.
Things were not good. Making it
even better, at 28 miles a guy stopped in front of me, in the Ultra race and
muttered, “I’m done”. For a short time I wondered “am I?” I’m also starting to get passed by more than
a few ultra runners who have showed a bit more patience, training, knowledge,
whatever and they looked very fresh.
Really tough on me again.
I genuinely considered stopping right here. But it only lasted for about 30 seconds. I passed a point here regarding
expectations. I came to a decision, and
I have no idea how, probably mental protection regarding failure; but I did
decide to just enjoy it and pick my head up and look around some more and see
what was on the course. This was very
useful for about 2 miles until I started cramping again. I was really looking forward to the 31
mile/50km stop in order to see my time as compared to my 50km training
run. I hobbled in to this stop in 4:40 (I
ran 4:43 in the training run). I had 8.3
miles to go, 10 minute miles would get it done.
No chance. And uphill
we went again. Every uphill reduced me
to a 12 minute pace at least, each downhill brought on the stabbing pain in my
groin and my quads and my feet. I began
to break down the run into 1 mile sections.
Not looking at the watch, and was analyzing how the pain was
coming. My running form had turned in to
something that felt like I was duck walking, I kept looking at my feet and I
wasn’t doing that but my mind kept thinking I was running with my feet splayed
out like I was doing cross country skiing uphill. About mile 33 I gave up on sub 6. I just tried to learn from everything
happening around me. My mind was
everywhere, first focused on running, then focused on trying not to feel
disappointed then trying to put one foot after the other. At this point I was channeling Bryan Powell
and “Relentless Forward Progress.”
A very funny moment was soon to come. We made a right turn and came into about 35 +
miles and crossed over a bridge and were about to do the “Hell of the West” the
two miles uphill I have written about and mentally done in my head many
times. I come up on this water stop and
here is a man with a box screaming “Fig Bars, Fig Bars”, I take two waters,
drink one immediately, and turn to him and say rather loudly “I don’t have any
money.” He politely tells me, “well
done, they’re free for everyone lad.” I
look at him a little wild eyed and say “Free?”
I take six and cram them in my mouth and then have some water. Instant cookie dough in my mouth, not the
smartest thing but it sure was something to pull out of my teeth for the next
four miles eat.
do i look like a duck to you?
At this point the hill is there and I am walking and have
been walking for 1 minute, I don’t know what the time is and I don’t want to
know, I begin to talk to myself and slowly start to run, I begin to pick up
what I would call pace, maybe 10 minutes a mile and run this hill for all my
life. This thing just keeps going and
going and going, I pass about 10 people, none of them ultra runners, and
finally reach the top to be met by an ambulance that is stationed there
permanently after the death of a runner who ascended and had a heart attack in
2007. This is 37.1 miles, I refuse the
water and start downhill.
What a nightmare, you can see the finish building for 2.2
miles and it never gets closer and it wasn’t all down hill it still had one
more little rolling hill in it. I’m
going down hill and my quads are just death warmed over, I seem to be leaning
predominantly to one side and I still feel like I am duck walking but I’m not. To add insult to injury we get over that
rolling hill go down a bit then go up about two meters and then start toward
the finish shoot and I finally get it done in 6:17:34. Good for 94 I find out later, barely in the
top half of the race.
Done!
Physically I felt destroyed, I had no elation at all at
finishing. And I had to get on a bus to
go back to the hotel. I could barely put
one foot in front of the other. I
couldn’t lift my legs for the next four hours.
I got home, showered, took a nap for two hours and woke up in excruciating
pain. I slowly tried to ambulate and was
able to move forward a bit but my feet were just killing me. I put them in ice cold water and then went
and had dinner.
After dinner I got back to the hotel room and started to begin
to try and stretch. This process went on
through the night as I woke up every two hours to go to the bathroom. As early morning came on I started to feel a
bit better.
Now on Wednesday pain is gone in all areas and I will try to
run a leisurely bit tomorrow. Don’t even
know how far.
As you can see from the write up, I learned a great deal in
this my first true competitive ultra.
My training was clearly not appropriate, too much taper, not
enough long runs, not enough prep time.
I spent 12 weeks on this but didn’t get enough in the bank clearly and
took too many days off. Some people do
this with several days off but all of their runs are longer runs. My diet is probably wrong as well.
Finally, it is time to decrease expectations. Enjoy these runs, and the workouts and the
ability to just put one foot after another because you can. Stop trying to beat the clock and work on
different expectations that involve the experience itself, because in an ultra
each course is different, each distance is different it is so different from
racing shorter distances and the mind work is different and the joys are
different. But if you show some patience
and relaxation you can accomplish some realistic goals instead of unrealistic
goals.
Finally, it is enjoyable, really.
We’ll see where it goes from here.
