If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Monday, January 7, 2013

Let it Snow

Good runs, sort of, on Sunday and Monday.  Both days it snowed and by Monday it was working about at -12 C wind chill.  It will be colder tomorrow with -14 C being the low.  It is supposed to snow another 12 hours from when I am writing this.

both runs are slow, any twinges were not there in the calf.  Worked hard on mindful steps.  I continue to struggle with mindful thoughts and keeping wholesome thoughts.  At least I am seeing that it is arising and cutting it off with a good assessment of why. 

Right now it is just 10 km a day until.  I won't run tomorrow, and on Wednesday I will do some running in London through Sunday.  Hope to do the same 10km every day. 

In general it is a new year, same goals though, just hope to try and be mindful and see the unwholesome thoughts as they arise, renounce things that need to be renounced.  Ego, craving, delusion, grasping, etc. 

Just return without blame.

That is what the snow does.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Day two back in Kyiv

Not the most mindful of runs.  The conditions are really terrible.  Lots of ice left over from our terrible December storms and there is a mix of snow and rain in the air adding to the treachery. Making matters even more fun is my mindfulness.  It is not even there.  Started my day with a lot of work related to some things happening next Tuesday, but I am struggling with making an appropriate connection in with my director. 
Most of the issue is mine of course.  I work quickly, I like to think and move and accomplish whereas she is a more methodical person.  Other issues include we are working in English, not her first or second language and there fore I am probably doubly overbearing.  I never seem to find the right connection with this and it is disconcerting to say the least.  Need to consider is it ego, craving, or one of the many stumbling blocks out there.  this type of kilesas is always a danger, always right there to grab you and send you into delusion.
The run was eventful for the fact I ran quicker, but by no means the speed of October or early November, and I think this is not a good idea.  No pain afterward but you could feel the slightest of stretches with the speed  I was running.
It is best to maintain this 10km system for the foreseeable future,
News of the day is the purchase of Adidas Climawarm Revolutions.  Supposed to be a winter shoe, has a much higher drop and I am not using inserts either.  Right now they feel clunky, but let's see what happens.
Two days in a row in Kyiv.  I'll take it for now.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Back at Things after a very long break

I've returned!  Slowly, but I have returned.  I went to Turkey, Istanbul and Izmir for work the 9th through the 15th of December but I didn't run.  That was disappointing as I missed out on running in another country.  I didn't run from 03 December until 27 December. 

I went to Sri Lank on the 23rd of December and started running again, on a treadmill there, on the 27th.  I started with 5k, then 6, then 7, then 8 then 9 then 10 two days in a row.  I ran 7 days in a row!  The feeling was really great.  I tried to check on my foot plant, and since it was on a treadmill I got to control the speed as well.  This was all very useful.  There is no pain and no sharp pain like before.  No limping afterward, no residuals afterward.  I am also using a ayurvedic system for afterward where I rub medicinal red oil and herbal balm on my calf.  I picked it up in Sri Lanka from an herbal medicine store.  I don't know if it is helping, but there is no pain.

I didn't run on the 3rd as I was traveling back.  I ran 10km on the 1st and 2nd and 10km again today in Kyiv.  Kyiv is a mess of course.  It got above 0 and things are wet and slippery.  Also, all the ice from before is not gone and it was very pick and pick just to get through things.  As part of that I went and bought some new shoes for winter running, Adidas Climawarm Revolutions.  These do not have the 4mm drop on them and that is another thing I am trying to see about.  Is it possible the 4mm drop participated in the calf problem?  We'll see.

Running was good today.  Mindful, very mindful.  I'm still working on all of these things.  I don't know when I will try 12k, but it will be shortly.  I go to London next week for a conference so probably I will only do 10's all that week.  I hope to stick to the 6 day a week system as well.

I'm back, lets see for how long.