If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. ,
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The goal today was to take a tour of the Kyiv Marathon course. I did this two weeks ago also. This time I ran the entire thing correctly however. Spent a lot of time on Kyiv pedestrian walks, that is to say concrete and bricks; but not the cobblestones.
We do this loop three times. As i see it there are two significant lengthy hills. I still think I want to run it hard but not real hard. I went 3:48 at Conemmara as I began to fall apart. I really think a smart hard run should come in about 3:35 or 3:40 which would be fine.
However, I've developed this crazy tightness behind my knee. Stretching and trying to self diagnose as I am often want to do. Probably ITB "stretching" is needed and plantaris, which also requires stretching so, that means stretching.
In general, while running it loosens it up so I just don't know. Today's run was nice, hot but nice, no watch, just running. All that arises ceases though, remember.
Should be an interesting run on the 6th.
Not as tough a battlefield as Conemmara.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
A nice 15km again today. Much hotter than yesterday though. Started thinking about what the trail gave me early on, that is to say, running to the shade. Acclimation to the heat is always fun but necessary. Had a basically okay week of running, but a real solid week of thinking about running.
Now for something more important. Here is today's picture out the window. Note the total explosion.
Note that everything has leaves now. Even the photo from early in the week didn't show color down low near the white car in this picture. Nor in the trees in the back ground. these white colors should be cherry trees but I also don't think the white will last long, its lucky I got them. If you remember the last picture to the left of the farthest cherry tree that was white five days ago, and now it is completely green.
Anyway, no watch, no time, nature on works with what it is given.
Friday, April 27, 2012
The area was behind the knee from mid calf to mid hamstring. I worked a lot of stretching in to my day and finally got it worked out but didn't run yesterday which was kind of disappointing. I went through some very interesting feelings yesterday and earlier before today's run. It is the same feeling I had last week. Like I was pressuring myself to run. I was working on this most of yesterday and before I rose this morning. Really going on with some strange feelings about this. But then,...
I had a cup of coffee and headed out the door to run today, I really wasn't really feeling it, felt like I was trying to find an excuse. I reached for my watch to start it, and it wasn't there... I decided not to go back up to the elevator, go upstairs track it down and then go back down and start the ritual all over again, I just started to run.
And then there was a release... I've thought about every since I finished the run, no watch, no worries. Just running. A great feeling, not worrying about beings stopped by traffic, not worrying about adjusting stride for the trail, not worrying at all.
How is it that such a little thing like time can relieve all that pressure?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wow, nothing like getting way ahead of yourself.
Dead legs, but running easy and light and just moving along. But certainly not quick that is for sure.We had a very hard rain here today, it turned that tree really green, I'll get a picture of it up tomorrow I hope.
I've cut out the massive daily infusion of coffee and only had 1/2 a cup today. I've switched to green tea for the time being. How could 2 billion Chinese people be wrong?
Today is done. Return, try not to crave, stay in the moment? Now is the best teacher?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Interesting feeling about craving the easy light feeling. I lost it and so want to recapture it that I believe that there is an ability to do it every day, just craving it unfortunately. Days like today you think it returns if you can just do that same thinking day after day. Those are just not realistic thoughts, but the mind is of course a strange little thing.
Perhaps it is interesting that I've written on this several times now so clearly I have identified this phenomena.
This is hilarious below: this is a picture of the self serve ticket purchase for our underground here in Kyiv in preparation of Euro 2012. Apparently they decided that they didn't really need to pay for someone to take a look at the English.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Interestingly, it seems to be returning again, I really feel like getting a nice week of running just for me and not really sweating the work. Post conference blues, I'm sure. On a lighter note my Plenary Session on International House World Organization branding practices went quite well and was well received by some people whose opinions I respect, mainly my co workers.
And, then there is a weather update, below is a picture outside the window taken yesterday, and lets have a review shall we?
As we can see, our foreground tree has picked up some more green, the ash on the right and in the background is slow to get started. The great news is the on the far left you will see white blossoms against the second floor of the building on the left. This tree will be the first of the highly colorful spring we will be having.
Looking forward to Monday.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
All I can do is try again tomorrow. Remember, if easy is all you have, that isn't so bad.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Woke early, got in a quick 12km of relaxing miles. Came back in and reloaded on nuts, fruits, cereal and protein. Relaxed, did some writing, took a short nap. About 13:00 went out for a tempo run at marathon pace for about 10km. Very nice, with some excellent ascent and descent involved. Heart rate and Blood sugar very good. Came back in, relaxed, whole wheat bread, nuts, fruits (apples, pears, oranges) protein shake. Napped for about two hours.
Woke up, read some blogs, read the news on the internet, mainly comparisons of economic conditions in USA v. Europe and why each is better than the other.
Around 19:00 went for another 10km utilizing easy and light, probably around 9 min a mile. Very easy, very light. Nothing spectacular.
Total of 32km for day various types, two good naps, good nutrition, plan to do 40 km tomorrow at about 9:00 a mile.
And now back to reality: I ran 12k today, nice very relaxed after yesterday felt very good. Of course I have to work tomorrow. No sponsors, no shoe deal, no GU deal, I work, I run because I want to, I work because I have to. I guess I don't have to, but I probably don't have the courage to live out of my car.
Still the run was nice today. 15km tomorrow.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Blood Sugar was good. I am also taking a new multi vitamin from Schiff. I got them at a GNC that is sort of a kiosk in Dreamtown mall in Kyiv. I real find actually.
I really enjoyed the run I have to say. A nice misty rain coming down for the whole thing. Though I didn't particularly enjoy some of the people along the way. Unfortunately, this race will be partly on cobble stones, ugh and then there were cars out there today, even though it is Orthodox Easter here.
Three interesting things on the run though. The first was outside the Volodyrmyrski Cathedral where there was a really long line of people waiting have their baskets of eggs and bread blessed with holy water. It looked like little red riding hood out there. Number two was something I've never had happen here. I was running through Khryschatyk where you can walk on the street on the weekends and there was a very old man on a bicycle wearing among other things a hat that said "Canada" on it. He spoke to me in Russian for about 5 minutes and I nodded and said one or two word responses back to him. The gist of his talk was that nobody gets exercise in this country anymore and you only see runners rarely.
Number three is an all time great classic. As I was running just before the old man started talking to me I saw one of those bands from old Soviet days, or it looked like from old Soviet days, uniforms like that, big hats like that and a lot of very old people standing around waiting for them to play. Tow things came to mind, one, this must be a fight against Easter by the former communists, and two, they look just like the people who I saw on TV today for N. Korean celebration, same outfits, everything.
Well on the way back on the loop I saw the band, only this time they were playing the music in the street in formation and they were dancing like they were trying out for the Florida A&M Marching Rattlers, it was great, just great, and now it wasn't old people looking at them it was a huge crowd of young people.
Another interesting day in Kyiv.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The trees are starting to get some leaves. There is a very nice willow tree across the street from my flat that I look forward to watching progress through the year. I like watching trees progress here. Maybe because it is a city and a big one at that, so you don't get to see it unless you look. Across the street is an elementary/primary school with some trees so pictures. I like to take pictures of the trees outside my flats as they progress out of winter into fall. It is a long process, but part of the fun of city living I guess. Here is the opening shot as of 14.04.12.
|Willow is in the foreground, I look forward to seeing what the ash on the right and the trees in the back ground are going to look like over time. This willow just sprung to life only two days ago.|
As to the run today, really enjoyable. Good Blood Sugar and nice easy light approach. Trying to focus on that. The stone bruise is still there but I am really pleased with this last week. I've run 8 days in a row and enjoyed every day of it. That is so nice.
Nice week, nice weather.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Based on the training I've been doing over the past three years I really felt that running that hard on Wednesday would surely lead to some type of pain that I wouldn't be able to tolerate and would need to take a day off. Why you ask? Because I've spend that last 5 years thinking I'm a diabetic and ex seriously injured person and I've had injury after injury after injury from various things.
And,.... nothing, I actually ran beautifully, easy and light and pretty relaxed. No pain, some dead legs to start but just an all in all very good run. What's changed? Well I think Conemarra has changed everything. The training for that showed me that I was really giving it excuses that really weren't there.
But the speed work, shouldn't there have been pain the next day? Why should there have been, because there was in the past, or because the pain you associate with the past should realize that day? But hasn't my mind been telling me all this time, you can't do it, the diabetes gets in the way, you've got this horrible foot injury from 1994 you can't do it.
Obviously I can run 64 km without pain, recover from it nicely in 6 days and get right back at it.
Secondly, speed work is good for you and it makes your body remember things that it could do in the past and all these excuses are just that, excuses.
Your mind is evil
By the way, todays morning run was wonderful.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
With that in mind, I woke up this morning really tired. I didn't run, but since I got off earlier today, I decided to do run in the evening. I also decided I need some speed work. I chose to run over to the track and do real live speed work.
Now, I haven't done speed work for real since 1994. So I had no idea, and of course my expectations were trying to be kept in check. I chose to do 400's. I ended up doing 8 x 400.
Interestingly, I was also trying to do, easy light smooth. It doesn't work in speed work. The first 400 was 1:58. 1:58! are you kidding me? I've run a 14:49 5k in my life. Oh by the way, my body had no clue what was going on, curves - straights? what the hell is all of this. Next one 1:55! Uh, are you that old that you will never run fast again in your life? Still nothing in response, but I was certainly lose. I was taking 200m jogs between each. 1:50 for the third one, still nothing, and really my brain couldn't figure out the cadence, how to work the curves, nothing.
I decided to lose the easy light thing and just go for it. Next one was 1:38 and wasn't as bad as I thought but clearly my muscles and mind had forgotten how to do this speed work. I did it again, 1:40, started to remember how to work a curve and a last straight away. Next one 1:39, at least consistent, beginning to feel better with each one. Pushed some more, 1:37. Start to breath heavy, this I remember, but also starting to see the track like your supposed to in speed work, where you want to be on the track at certain times, when you should push etc.
Ran the last one not all out but going hard. 1:32. Now that is progress, muscles now remembering what speed feels like. Remembering why speed work is good.
Slow warm down and think about it.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The thing about easy, light, smooth, fast, is the light part. Easy I can do, I, like just about everyone can be naturally relaxed under no pressure. For me it is trying not to see past the next step. Today and yesterday I got to points in the run where I began to think about how far I had to go. This of course defeats the point of Light (run like you don't care how far it is or how high the hill is).
All in all, getting back at it is very enjoyable. I'd like (grasping) to get in some nice 100km weeks or 100+ weeks over the next few weeks. We will see how that goes. I have a data set of four days and of course think it will last forever. (all that arises ceases).
I read Anton Krupicka's blog today and his continuing struggles with his shin which I only know about from reading about it. But he, like all of us I guess, has his own inner fight with not trying to over do it. Even someone in that kind of fantastic shape has that problem, that was interesting to read about.
I'm still pondering Conemarra on a regular basis. I did my first set of core exercises yesterday in what seems like 9 or 10 months. Trying to get back to that every other day if possible and eat right and stay hydrated.
Watching, learning, reading, running.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
If you don't know who Caballo Blanco is, adopted name of Micah True, he is a central character of a book called "Born to Run". My sister-in-law gave me this book as a gift some two years ago. I devoured the book, but re read the sections on Christopher McDougall's visits with True several times. I have some favorite quotes which I have used here, such as: "why take two steps when you can take three?"
Two days before Conemarra ultraRunningonline.com posted that True was missing after going for a run. On the day of the race it was confirmed that he had been found dead. At the time I was saddened by this news as I felt a connection with some of the words he has said but also that many of us probably would love to take the approach he has taken over time, however, can't/don't/won't for various reasons and that we admired greatly what he was doing.
I've had one week to reflect on Conemarra and during that time McDougall had a very nice article on BBC Online, my main source of news, which held yet another of the great True quotes. I've had time to come to terms with my experience, what I would like to see happen from that experience, but at the same time not grasping for what I want to do as a result. Simultaneously, my favorite quote has somehow centered me with not grasping and not over exceeding expectations.
From "Born to Run", by Christopher McDougall,
"Don't fight the trail. Take what it gives you," he began. "Lesson two - think easy, light, smooth and fast. You start with easy, because if that's all you get, that's not so bad. Then work on light. Make it effortless, like you don't [care] how high the hill is or how far you've got to go.
"When you've practised that so long that you forget you're practising, you work on making it smooooooth. You won't have to worry about the last one - you get those three, and you'll be fast." (Micah True, aka Caballo Blanco)
My last two runs endeavored to work on easy and light. I think it will be some time before I get to smooth and fast. I am really enjoying easy and light.
Thank you Mr. True.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Early days with the group referenced below
an attempt at pushing it with sets of hills in the background
do i look like a duck to you?
Monday, April 2, 2012
More to follow.