If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)








Friday, January 20, 2012

Kharma

Well, never talk bad about your equipment.  We had a lot fo snow today and wind, etc. so I went for the treadmill again, watched a movie again.  This time I put in the first half of Apocalypse Now in and started running.  I started out very slowly today as I was definitely tired and had aches in pains in the upper left leg interior, a stone bruise that has been killing me in my right ball of my foot, the usual inability to get my body positioning right on the treadmill.  I eventually got things worked up to a point where I felt comfortable after about 7 kms.

Unfortunately, at about 9.2 km the machine exploded, not literally, but sparks flew and everything shut down.  This is the second time this machine has done this.  It looks like it may be fatal, don't particularly want to struggle through a language barrier getting it fixed or dealing with what is a unique maintenance experience here.  Maybe I get a new one, we'll see.

I decided to put clothes on and go outside and finish the rest of the run.  Very rough out there.  Ran up to the track, "the Match of Death" track, very famous from WW II.  But it was practically unrunnable so I went back on to the streets which were very messy so I was sprayed gratuitously by cars with snow and mud.  But I did get the rest of the run in.

Unfortunately, I felt very tired at the end.  I went back to work, suddenly I had difficulty focusing and my arms started to hurt.  I knew what this was, high blood sugar.  I took some insulin, about 10 units and still after about 30 minutes I didn't feel well at all.  I tested and my sugar was 446.  When I started the run, some two hours earlier it was 142.  This is not something that happens, it has only happened two or three times to me.  In thinking about it I think it had something to do with endocrine adjustment to mileage but they may just be bullshit and I just had high blood sugar from exercise and maybe didn't eat properly or hydrate properly.  Anyway, I took 12 more units and as I write I am 84 but very tired from the whole thing.

Never talk bad about the equipment.

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