If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My Left Foot

Mid morning, windy and a bit cold.  It was about 5C, but with the wind, allegedly it was for -1C.  However, another PB on the 12k course. 

Worked with 'right now' on this run and used it as a koan.  It worked pretty well today.  I felt that I was in step with this today and I was very mindful on this and there was very little unwholesome thinking or monkey mind during the run. 

On the other hand, my left foot.  Thinking about it, I know it isn't broken, there is no effect on my stride like a broken metatarsal would be.  I've had a broken metatarsal so at least I can rule that out.  It is sometimes a lot of pain, and sometimes not much pain.  Today, even with the quick feet and leg turnover, the pain was still there and ran down the left outer edge.  Once I stop running, after about 3 or 4 minutes it goes away.  It does hurt if I walk barefooted around the flat on the floor, not on the carpet.  I've put lotion on the last two days, will do so tonight.  At this point I am truly grasping at anything and I don't think that is correct approach.  I've researched it a lot, I've tried some things.  I've tried loosening the shoes, tightening the shoes...

I continue to research and think, practice mindfulness of foot steps.  In general I know it doesn't affect my foot fall and therefore doesn't cause and injury.  Is it possible I need all that built up skin stripped away?

Since the age of 2 years old I have had the following things happen to the left side of my body:  spiral fracture of the thigh, broken left arm (3 times), stress fracture of the left tibia, five broken bones in the left foot, broken left side of collarbone, 3d degree burn on the left leg as a result of a fire, multiple sprained ankles to the left leg.

My left foot.

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