If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

How Mindfulness Can Save you.

The plan was to go out and do 25km this morning.  That was a stupid plan.  Yesterday, on the way to the shop I put one foot after the other in rapid succession and felt that there was still a not there in the calf.  The follow on has been the related tendon that is also sore from all of this.  The shop trip made me change the plan to run 12k today.

Woke and gave it a shot.  In general there is still stiffness in that area but for the first 12 or 13 minutes it was just stiffness.  Uphill seems to put more stress on it than downhill, flat is no stress at all, just a general stiffness in the area. 

As I was crossing my first checkpoint, which happens to be a steady uphill for about 600 meters, I got a knife like stab in the calf.  I made an immediate decision to fight another day and cut off the run by heading back on a shortcut toward the house.  Of course this area was flat so there was very little discomfort.  Of course, this made me think I could do a little more if I just got to a downhills and flats, maybe I could get in 8 or 9km.  As I was making another turn to head downhill on Vanda Vaselevskoi I got another stabbing pain and decided that I just needed to get it home and see what the damage might be.  I ran home getting in a very easy 4.6km.

As I sit here plotting out the rest of the week I can say two positives.  I got up and ran; and it looks like if I keep moving forward the stiffness will work itself out.  It looks like I have a date with the Start Stadium track from the next few days/weeks.  I just don't know how long it will take.  But certainly it felt wonderful to be running again. 

I still just don't know where all this came from.  It is the right side of my body, I never have problems with the right side, it is always the left side of my body.  It is interesting to watch it develop, after the run I tested things a bit and I didn't do any damage, all systems are static from yesterday, I can't put weight on it.  But, its obvious that age is probably a factor in this as well.  I can't just rebound like I did when I was younger.

Slowly but surely I think I will get it back.  Reflection.  Mindfulness saved it today I think and may allow me to run again tomorrow.

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