If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Unwholesome yet productive some how

Tuesday was the rest day again this week.  Ran yesterday, jut out the door and going, 12k, very easy but the mind of a monkey.  Today, ran 12k again, but other issues creating the land of unwholesomeness.

Yesterday was a very easy run, intentionally.  My intention was to focus on the breath and just run, but I ended up just running and looking around and smiling a lot, not in the least bit mindful of my breath but at the same time not having unwholesome issues to deal with and in fact thinking of wholesome things.

Today was a disaster.  Started a work and went from there.  The first three days of work have been pretty good but today I was unable to muster the appropriate compassion and kindness and it got the best of me, thus I was annoyed when i got hom to run.  Making matters even more fun was about 2:48 (minutes that is) in to the run a group of three women basically looked at me and step right in front of me and one of them stuck their foot out and I tried to jump over it and I ended up taking a fall.

To say that I was off my game from there is an understatement, thus began a terrible slide involving all the unwholesomeness of the entire day.  Just a lot of anger that I tried to get out of but it just kept coming back, over and over and over.

On the other hand it is the fastest I've run in about three weeks.  But, that is just no good because that wasn't the point, the pint is to continue to try to make steps in both running and living.

I guess I'll just have to take 1 out of 2 today.  Disappointing though.

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