If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. ,
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I really struggled mentally today. I wanted to do the 30, I worked through it several times, had myself convinced to turn and start the second loop. For the last 3 miles of the run I was back and forth in my mind. 'this is how it is, good and bad, have to work through the bad, yes the sidewalks are horrible, the roads even worse, nothing plowed, lots of slipping very small steps.' Then go to where I would turn around , take some water and a GU and do the full 30.
Turned around and low and behold my water place was closed and there was no water when I wanted there to be water. I shut it down immediately. I am now surprised that I couldn't just slog on and find another water place. At least I learned something about that. There wasn't pain there wasn't anger, there was resignation of the conditions.
It is important to take many things from this to make sure that I continue to move forward with training. I read a great deal last night of various training plans and I think that also affected me as many suggested a week of steady distance without the long run. Hmm, mental, mental, mental.
I'll try 15k all week and see what that does. I did 105k over the last 7 days and that would 105k also, then go for 35k next Sunday.
Lessons learned? Many. Try to take them with me on the next long run. I did not show patience today, at all.