If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Creating your own suffering

No running today.  The calf is quite sore from yesterday.  I've done a lot of massage and stretching.  When I woke up this morning it was still sore.  At least it isn't a tear but one more day at least is necessary.  Better safe then sorry I guess.

Thus, I have the chance to talk about creating your own suffering.  My attempts at getting off this medication feel like a complete failure.  I am constantly frustrated and full of anxiety about all kinds of things.  I almost through my new tablet against a wall today because I couldn't make it work.  Thus I create the aftermath of suffering with this.  Even with meditation, following the breath, being mindful I am annoyed.

Add my attachment to this calf problem and I am really causing suffering.  Of course it is temporary and impermanent but my mind certainly doesn't see it that way.  This is a really good example of how I cause my own suffering.  Maybe it is a chance for me to expand my practice further by seeing all the things that I do to myself.

For example, why should I get angry at an inanimate object?  Do I think I can control the object so well that it will do what I want it to do?  Clearly I cannot as I am pissed that it won't do what I want it to do.  Again, causing my own suffering by not see that it is impermanent, without satisfaction, and not having a self.  This is all very enlightening to me.

But, again, even though I can see it clearly, I go around and around in a circle that seems to repeat itself every day, all day.  I wonder if it will ever end.  I wonder if it is the medication that doesn't keep me in the circle.

Fascinating.  Hope to run tomorrow.

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