If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Impermanence and Unwholesomeness

Ran today.  Yesterday I didn't get it done as a result of work issues that overran my ability to get home and run.  I thought it would happen again today.  I analysed this run start anxiety repeatedly today.  It occurred to me that the anxiety is related to physical pain of the start?

Why not start slow then?  Why not start by walking?  Why not remember that nothing is permanent and that there is no self and exactly whose pain is it?  Is it the person who ran yesterday?  The person who runs today?  Whose pain?  All very interesting phenomena to consider.  Nonetheless, the anxiety is there, needs to be considered for what it is.  A thought, that will arise, and then pass.  They are impermanent. 

So out the door I go.  In general it was warmer today than it has been in the last few days.  I was very sweaty at the end, very humid.  But the pace was fine even when I tried to just run.  The foot plant mindfulness was quite good. 

However, full of unwholesome thoughts throughout which affected and create opinions and views which arose, were cut off, arose again in another form, were cut off and mindfulness returned to foot plant.  They rise, somehow they pass, they too are impermanent. 

Not running Monday creates its own anxiety, making sure I get five more runs in for the week.  What really happens if I don't run and get my 88kms for the week?  What really happens?  Overall, nothing, personal goals are lost, but isn't that grasping and not letting go of personal goals?

All very interesting.

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