If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Clinging to Idiocy

quick, peppy 12k today in the mid afternoon.  mindfulness of steps, good mind set getting out the door, ate something before i left, fastest run in awhile.

Oh the traffic mid afternoon on the 'trails' of Kyiv.  Bodies everywhere and the roads/sidewalks/dirt/crap/trash, etc. is flying around right now due to the drop in temperature combine with the pick up in the wind.  everything is muddy and dirty.  It was a smooth 6 C this morning, and raining, by the time of my run it was up to 13 C around 2:15 p.m.

The run itself was a run for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, today.  My only real issue is my clinging to idiocy.  I always have this strange feeling when I post something on irunfar.com.  I tend to feel like an idiot no matter what I say.  It was  fairly mundane post, but still I always feel inadequate when I put something on there.  Especially, after you let it sit and come back and see people posting after you.

Clinging to ego?

all and all, the runs have been stringing along nicely for the past few weeks.

Post script around 10:30 at night:  Went back to work, walked from the flat to the bus stop, then to the office, stood for at least 90 minutes while teaching English for Lawyers.  Before that I almost fell asleep at my desk in the teachers room.  Now I have some tightness in my back. During meditation on the way home tonight I worked with that tightness.  The runner in me is analyzing how much running a lot quicker than usual is playing in this.  Also, wondering if I am carrying too much weight.  Because I am trying not to overly focus on form (bodily) I haven't weighed myself in two weeks.  But maybe yes, maybe no.   more tomorrow i'm sure.

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