If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

A week of letting go? Not really.

As I write it is Saturday evening around 6:40 Kyiv time.  The week ended just fine.  Thursday was the scheduled off day, Friday I went 12k and today I went 15k.  All in all a very good week of running.  Too good?  Too much attachment to this week of good running?  Who knows, only right now is the teacher and the teacher says that is clinging to ego.

Every wonder if this might be too hard, every time I turn around there is an issue of clinging to this, attachment to that, not letting go of this, delusion, grasping of that.  My how the mind likes to play tricks, could it be that is the mind feeling its importance and the ego slipping away and taking another shot at having this be just given up so it can take over making me miserable?  I see your Mr. Mind, clearly you are a trained professional.

Friday's 12k was in the dark, the first in the dark of the year.  Calls for wearing my glasses and for looking down a lot to make sure I step in places that are safe.  At the same time, being mindful of the footsteps is a good thing in this situation.  But don't you know it, I was cruising pretty good at about 8k when I looked up to see what was ahead and promptly tripped over a sidewalk monster and took one of those really nice PLF's down the sidewalk.  Good for two skinned knees and palms and some skinned legs.  Right about that time I started having low blood sugar which was kind of a surprise, took a GU and continued on, feeling a bit out of sorts and figuring out what might be hurt.  That inventory turned out positive.  Finished it off.

Today I didn't run until about 4:30 p.m.   Still daylight, but cloudy around 10 C.  Very easy, mindful of the steps run.  Nonetheless unwholesome ideas, views and opinions came trotting out for their daily attempt to run me into the ground.  I'm getting better at identifying them quicker.  Still,...

Let go, every day is different than the one before.

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