If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

3 Hard Days

The positive:  I ran all three days, 15k Tuesday, 12k Wednesday, 15k today.  But oh the negatives.  This week I'm trying to get in 84 km for the week.  Monday was a rest day and then back at it on Tuesday.  Tuesday worked out really well, very good mindful approach to foot plant. 

Its an interesting phenomena about this mindfulness of foot plant.  It is so different from following the breath as a mindfulness approach.  You work on every step you take.  You seldom come out of the mindfulness, it has been very insightful for me.  Not the least of which is that it has shown me that since the comeback from the broken feet so long ago my left foot plant was/is really out of whack and clearly the cause of some of my previous injury problems which were solved with the inserts.  It also is an indicator of my false diagnosis of atypical neuroma metatarsalgia.  If I step right I don't have the problem. However, the down side is that my feet are having to get used to the correct steps again and that is kind of strange.  I really have to stay focused.

Unfortunately, my work on Wednesday and Thursday prevented morning runs.  Actually, I prevented the morning run on Wednesday because I completely failed to have right speech, right action, right effort and mindfulness, or let ego slide away as a result of things that happened at work on Tuesday.  The result was very little sleep on Tuesday night.  I ended up running hard on Wednesday night for 12k.  I didn't intend it to be hard, it just turned out to be a good strong run.  Luckily I was able to stay mindful on the foot plant because emotionally I was a complete wreck. 

Again this too was insightful and shows that I still have a very long way to go till I have the kind of knowledge and use of the Noble eightfold path that some people might consider appropriate.  I have opinions and I have views, neither of which is a useful way to go about things.  My Wednesday run was driven by more hurtful words that I suffered, but they are just words I hope, I continue to meditate on how ego got in the way and how my incorrect speech was the cause of much of the problem.  Live and learn right.

Today's run was 15k and it was after I gave a presentation on customer satisfaction at the school.  I came home midday and got the run in.  I wanted to run early but just couldn't do it.  I ended up have a very bad blood sugar drop about 3:30 a.m. last night and ate most of the fruit in the refrigerator, thus causing a wonderful high blood sugar when I got up. So I took some insulin and got some more sleep.   I was determined to run though.  Again, very good mindfulness with the footplant. 

I don't know how long this meditation theme will last.  What I do know is that the week has been eventful and thus many phenomena have arisen and fallen. 

I go to China on Saturday afternoon.  Stay tuned.

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