It got hot and I seemed to be pretty tired today. Also I had world class monkey mind. Just full of unwholesomeness and this was the second day in a row. My run on Thursday was a good mindful piece of work but over the last two days I have really felt the unwholesomeness of my thoughts.
Luckily I have seen these and returned back to mindfulness, but I am noticing that in both of these days it felt like I was in that state of unwholesomeness for some period of time. I probably wasn't but that is what it felt like.
After the run sat down and worked it through and its just the second noble truth. The cause of suffering is craving. In this case its craving to avoid fear and the fear is the hard work that I wish I could control, but know that I won't control there is greed which is related to my compensation and of course that is all just suffering. This is hard business.
I'll spend the day trying to embrace that fear and work with it.