If we really want to get rid of suffering, completely and totally, then clinging has to go. The spiritual path is never one of achievement; it is always one of letting go. The more we let go, the more there is empty and open space for us to see reality. Because what we let go of is no longer there, there is the possibility of just moving without clinging to the results of the movement. As long as we cling to the results of what we do, as long as we cling to the results of what we think, we are bound, we are hemmed in. Meditating on No-Self: A Dhamma Talk (Edited for Bodhi Leaves), by Sister Khema(1994)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Back Pain, will it cease?

Since Friday last I 've been struggling with back spasms that managed to radiate down into the flank area over the last four days.  Friday it just was in the lower back near the fascia, left side.  Friday night after the run was a tough walk around the flat.  Saturday, a little worse, but walking was tougher.  Sunday, worse.  Monday I ran and the run seemed okay as it got loosened up but you could definitely feel it.  I could barely walk afterward.  Today all through the day I walked with a limp, so some core and a lot of stretching for today, no running.  I won't run tomorrow either as the assessor is coming to assess our CELTA course so there will be a dinner involved, so home late.  No use chancing it.  We will see what ceases and arises in two days time.

When I was buying the extra shoes in Tallahassee for the return trip to Kyiv I asked the people at Capital City Runners how many miles they thought I would get out of the Saucony Kinvara 3s.  They thought 250 miles was about max before you started feeling things.  I really didn't want to believe that since I live on the 310 mile or 500km rule. Well guess how many miles I have on these shoes?  400km or 248 miles.  is that a coincidence?  I will switch shoes when I start up again. 

Thursday through Monday, 5 days of running.  All of it quite good.  A lot of breathing meditation for each of the runs.  Of course I lost mindfulness regularly, but following the breath the entire run was helpful to return back without blame to the breath and disconnect mindfulness from the body and work with the areas of a new body with every second, every step, every 2 steps, meters, kilometers, miles, runs.  Interesting phenomena.

Also, the back is none of my business, it is the bodies business and all that arises, ceases.

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